Disappearing.

Doesn’t it ever get to be too much?

The liking and the statuses and the pictures and the games and the invitations and the notifications and the comments and the privacy settings and the apps and the ads and the tagging and the ____________. I feel like I could go on forever. There’s a lot to facebook. It’s so much more than it was 8 years ago when I joined. 8 years ago?! When it was just for college students, there was no newsfeed, not even pictures but a profile picture. I barely remember it. It’s wonderful in a lot of ways; the connections you can dig up or start up can have wonderful impacts on your life. It sure is easy to keep up with people, too. And it’s fun to see everyone’s life in action – I just took my dog to the park action. I mean who doesn’t like to know that there are people and dogs at parks??

And then there’s the safety side of it all. Do we not hear every day (ok, every other day) in the news about how facebook is now using your information for _______. That you need to adjust your privacy settings again because they found something else out. That advertisers can get any information they want about you? So just in a mama bear frame of mind – is it too much? Am I jeopardizing my kids in anyway? Probably not, but it does make me wonder. Is it going to get completely out of control at some point? Maybe, maybe not, but it does beg the question. At least to me.

I’ve had that thought for a long time now. That it might just be too much in a lot of ways. I’ve thought about doing away with it all for a very long time. But it’s addicting, no? What will I miss out on? What will you miss out on without my profile in your lives?? But it’s those very questions that lead me to take the big step. To disappear.

Not in a rude way (although it will sound rude), but why do I need to know what so and so from high school that I haven’t talked to in 10 years, but it would be awkward to unfriend, is doing for dinner? Why do I have to click on the Facebook app on my phone 73,000 times a day just so I don’t miss someone’s big news… that, in the scheme of my life, isn’t big news at all. And myself – why do I think everyone needs to see what I’m doing with Leah at the moment we’re doing it? That’s not to say I don’t want to share things, obviously I’m still blogging, but the instantaneous need to get information to Facebook got to be a little overpowering – for me. (Maybe you’re better at it).

It hit me real hard the other day when I was playing with Leah. Well, I was trying to play with Leah. And I was trying to facebook. And she caught me. Sitting in her playroom I took a cute picture of her to post. I started to get into the app and she looked at me and said, “mommy no this,” and pointed to my phone. Translation: mommy get off your phone and just play with me. It was maybe one of the biggest mom fail moments I’ve had with her so far. I wanted to cry. Why can’t you just play with your kid, Maria?! Facebook doesn’t need to see her right now… you need to see her… she needs you to see her… to play with her… to really, really, all hands in play with her. Leave your freaking phone on the counter downstairs and play with your daughter the way she deserves to be played with.

I was hard on myself over it. I still get mad. I don’t always do that, I did try to make a conscious effort to leave my phone alone when we were playing. But obviously, I wasn’t doing near a good enough job. So then I really got back to my I need to get rid of this plague that is Facebook mentality. It was too much for my two year old, and so it was too much for me. It had to be.

So here I am! I am disappeared! It’s pretty refreshing, I will say that. Kind of like I can breathe a little easier (although, I have a Quinn in my ribs so really I can’t breathe at all). I love to blog. I love to write about Leah and Duncan and Kyle and being married and being pregnant and being a homeowner and why you shouldn’t drink cows milk and baking muffins – I really love it. And the best part is, I can only do it when Leah sleeps or else she tries to type the keys and name the letters and she jumps on me and it’s a complete disaster :). So now I won’t get busted anymore! During her naps I used to sit down with the computer (if I had nothing to clean) and facebook stalk for 2 hours, learning things I didn’t care to know about people I barely knew in the first place. Now, I can either blog or I can get crazy making a nest, or I’ve even thought about taking up reading! (But that probably won’t happen). The point being, I can use two hours of every day to focus on my family, my life, my house -not yours. I am happy that you are having a good day, or I’m sorry that you got a speeding ticket – but really – I don’t need to know. My day will go on regardless of what blows up (or used to blow up) my Facebook newsfeed.

I’m excited to see how it all goes. To see a life without facebook. To use my phone less. To work on this blog more. To make actual photo albums instead of facebook albums. To not feel the need to tell you that Leah and I bought Kyle apples from the store. To learn to fully devote my playtime with Leah to actually playing with Leah. To not deal with the political correctness of it all; Heaven forbid putting up the wrong status. To not deal with the social correctness of it all; friending someone because you “should” and not because you actually like them. To not think in terms of “likes” and “statuses.” To just write my little ol’ blog and having you read it should you so choose.

Maybe I’ll hate it, I don’t know. Maybe I’ll feel all alone while the rest of the world is still inside everyone else’s business. Maybe I’ll come crawling back. But so far so good. So far I’m happy with my choice.

I’m happy to have disappeared.

Advertisements

1 Comment

Filed under Uncategorized

One response to “Disappearing.

  1. Gennifer

    I love this idea….I know we talked about it, but I didn’t realize the phone/playing thing was possibly what it stemmed from. I’ve been guilty of that too – but my issue is always texting. Texting my mom, my sisters, my family, but still, taking that time away from Bella (when it’s already precious since Charlee arrived.) Thanks for the reminder 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s