Monthly Archives: August 2014

The Biggest Day.

Today was the big day!

The biggest day!

I was so unsure of how it would all play out given our family plague. I’m still unaffected, but Quinn and Kyle are in the depths of despair – however, Leah was on the mend all day yesterday so I was hopeful. I had replayed the morning in my head so many times over the last few weeks, just to get prepared to get out the door! You’ll remember, we have no experience having to be anywhere before 11am. But then the sickness hit, and all of that kind of went out the window. I left the house last night at 8:30 to get my first meal of the day, and I was eating the Wendy’s goodness, I just thought, “you know, one way or another we’ll be there. and we won’t be late.” This family of Proebsting’s aren’t late. Ever. If you’re on time, you’re late. If you’re early, you’re on time. Family motto. So I knew come hell or high water we would respect the school start time and be there with bells on.

And then Quinn was up from 1:28am on. But hey, I have a coffee pot. And it was on. Quinnie was the first up, (because you don’t have to wake up if you don’t sleep), so I got her dressed first. Even she seemed confused that I was taking her jammies off before lunch. Then I got myself ready. Then at promptly 6:55am I woke Leah up. Man, I hated that. Poor kid probably needs all the rest she can get, but she woke up like a champ. She was SO excited that it was finally school day! I love how this school introduces their newest members to the process. First, we had a meet the teacher night where we all went to help her get aquainted, then we had a school picnic to play with teachers and classmates, last we had a parent orientation where we left Leah  in the room with her teacher and classmates while Kyle and I went to the gym to hear all the information we could handle. So by the time this morning actually rolled around, she was so excited to finally get to go for real! She had practiced three times – she knew where she was going and who she was going to be with – pretty seamless.

We ate breakfast, brushed teeth, changed clothes, and took pictures!

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Love her so. You’ll excuse the “fly free” shirt I so appropriately chose for her. They are asked also to only wear tennis shoes – blah. But oh well, I’m sure she prefers them anyways.


Poor Quinnie. Not in the back to school spirit. And Leah’s “backpack.” Kind of sad, since she wanted a backpack (and lunchbox), but they say it’s easier for 3 year olds to get papers in and out of, so we won’t complain. And Jesus and “his cute little lamb” as Leah calls it adorn the front. Ha.


Giving the exact same face.

I started to get really excited when we pulled up. We formed a line with all the other minivans proudly boasting their school car magnets, just as we were.

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Go Eagles!

It was fun to finally see how it all would go. And instantly be a part of this little school community. Leah had to have her bag all to herself as we walked in. She couldn’t hold my hand. And she knew right where she was headed.

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Gosh, she’s so big. There was a kid screaming in the parking lot, “I don’t wannnnnnna gooooo innnnn! I wannnnaaaa gooooo hommmmmme!” And I almost laughed, but didn’t. That poor dad. And there was a kid sobbing in her class. But not Leah. She was ready. She found her cubby for her bag, and went right in to join in the fun. I watched her for a minute, then the teacher and I caught glances, she smiled at me, and we shrugged shoulders at each other as if to say, “welp, I guess there’s nothing left for me to do here.” I said goodbye, and Quinn and I headed home.

That’s where I am now. It’s 9:27. I cleaned the kitchen from this mornings breakfast madness and now have LIVE with Michael and Kelly on the TV in the background. It’s so weird to be kidless. And it’s really weird to not be watching PBS or DisneyJR. This is our first real crack at ever leaving Leah somewhere on a regular basis for a slightly significant amount of time. And as much as I didn’t see it coming, I did get a little emotional. I am now, too, being all by myself. This is the first time that I won’t be the one to solve all of her problems, or teach her something new. It’s the first time she will have to ask someone else for help. I mean, yes, she’s has been away from me before. But left in the care of grandparents. A teacher is different. It’s the first time I get a peak at a teacher in a different light – I’m giving her teacher my little girl for a portion of the day. That’s kind of a big deal. Someone should pay them more. 🙂

Ugh, now it’s only 9:34. I’m chomping at the bit to see how the day went! I can’t wait to hear all about it. I can’t wait to bring her her blue tootsie pop. And I really can’t wait to return her to her dog, so he gets off my left arm…


He’s just wandering aimlessly and stopping back to check in with me as if to say, “mom. where’s Leah? You forgot her.”

Soon enough, buddy.


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The Girls Today.

First of all, before I get into today’s blog – can we just talk about how much you guys like to read about breastfeeding?? Turns out, a lot of you either shared my feelings on supporting moms who simply choose to feed their baby’s or you knew someone who needed to hear that they were doing a good job. I have a stat tracker, and normally I see that I have about 50 readers – that one had 516. And reached 6 countries! I’m not out for fame (and I was instantly worried about keeping my kiddos safe); but I love knowing that it was so well received because that means that there are mamas out there who need encouragement and I really hope it helped because I am passionate about that kind of thing.

But today we go back to normal. My little kiddos! My favorite topic.

My buggie is sick. Can you say a prayer for her? Like right now.

Just do it.

She starts school on Thursday, and I’d really like her to be in tip-top shape. It’s “just a cold” but she has the accompanying 100 degree fever and sluggish behavior. We were supposed to start practicing to get out the door on time, and I had plans of waking her and everything, but that plan went out the window. Thursday is gonna be a crap shoot.

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This was her right AFTER her nap. God bless her little self. I hate it. So you, know – we’re dealing with that. But you know what else we’re dealing with, and it is way more fun…

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My kid can write! And she’s THREE. I don’t know what age they start writing, but I was absolutely blown away the other day when she got out her magnadoodle and started writing letters at my command. I mean, really?! She’s writing. I’m so stinking excited about it. Writing. That’s such a fun skill. I’m actually taken back by just how excited I am about it. I feel like i shouldn’t be this crazy about it, but I am. I love it. Just look at those goofy little letters she made to write her name and her sister’s name. How COOL is THAT. She’s WRITING.

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One more, just for fun. What I have circled there in the middle is the word Hi… backwards. My favorite.

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God bless. A three year old is a lot to handle. But she’s a pretty good one. Get better, sweetie!

Can we switch to the other little nut I have running crawling around here every day.

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Quinn is maybe the goofiest little baby I’ve ever seen. She has so many personality quirks that just make me crazy about her. Quinn, you are my sunshine. Every single day. Walking in her room every morning at 6:15 (I make her talk to herself for 30 minutes, since she wakes up at 5:45 and I can’t handle that) instantly makes me smile. Because usually, she’s bottoms up. I guess she likes a little yoga to get her off and running.

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She is into everything now. There’s not a cord that she hasn’t tried to eat, a toilet that she hasn’t touched the bottom of, or a piece of fuzz she hasn’t tried to eat. She is such a mama’s girl. The second I pick her up she sticks her thumb in her mouth and burrows into my neck, at least for a second. And I melt.

I had a moment today in the grocery store. I saw some Halloween candy, and you know what that means… Quinn will be ONE soon! I remember this time last year when I started seeing it, and I just couldn’t wait to get my hands on her. And now, just like that, her first year is almost history. So bittersweet. What a delightful year it has been.


A year ago tomorrow we got to watch Quinn for 45 minutes on the big screen. I loved every second. She was such a doll as she hung out in my belly growing and swimming and hiccuping and swallowing and kicking and punching. She smiled and stretched and got mad at her umbilical cord. It was such a cool experience, and it catapulted me into a pure obsession with her. And for some reason, I just haven’t been able to kick it.

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I guess it’s just that darling little face. She’s even better in color.

And Leah is growing up into such a smart little lady and I’m so happy every day that she’s mine.

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(She does wear real clothes and have brushed hair sometimes.)

And there you have my girls on this very day. This is one of those that is kind of just for me to look back on. To read it down the road and remember how excited I was that Leah started to write. How anxious I was for school to start in a day. And how happy I was with my darling little Quinnmeister, being a little nut at 9 months old, and already getting emotional over her birthday.

They’re pretty great kids.



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My Thoughts on the Matter.

It’s world breastfeeding awareness week. Or world breastfeeding week. Or some sort of combination of those words – are you excited? Celebrating? I know Quinn and I are. I’ve done some thinking in my one year (Leah) and 9 months (Quinn) on the topic. Would you like to hear my thoughts? If not, stop reading. If yes, proceed ahead.

We all know (or should know if you read regularly) that I love breastfeeding. I love the feel good feelings it gives off, and the rather effortless way to get nutrition into a baby. I love knowing that my body was made to grow people, and rather spectacularly. I love that until you introduce solid food, breastfeeding poop is basically just orange liquid, and not scary at all. I love that I can sneak away to nurse my baby if I’m sick of being in a crowd. I love that I am able to save us money in this way – even though sometimes I feel like Kyle should pay me for it. 🙂 And most of all, yes I said most of all, I love the weight loss that comes with it! Give me a free 500-800 calorie burn a day and I’ll take it!

I’ve had such a good experience breastfeeding both these little girls; and rather different experiences each time. It came rather easy with Leah, but it was effortless with Quinn. I chalk a lot of that being “second-time-mom-ness.” I cried over Leah for several reasons in the beginning and throughout; I have yet to find tears with Quinn. Leah took in more milk than Quinn (CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT)?! It’s true. She ate less solid food, more of mama’s goodness – Quinn likes the real stuff (okay, now you believe me). Leah didn’t sleep through the night til 9m, Quinn gave me the gift at 5. I pump less, but more often with Quinn. I pump less milk each session because I think she likes to drain me dry. She sucks til there’s not a drop left. Leah always left some in the tank, so I always pumped quite a bit. However, I pump more often this time around because Quinn, that darling little girl, drinks from a bottle! Leah never did get the hang of that, so I never truly needed to pump.

Lactation consultants save lives, and if you are ever going to consider breastfeeding get the number of one now. I was lucky enough to have the same LC on duty with both girls, and she remembered me. I was able to ask her all kinds of questions I had with Quinn, even though I knew a bit of what was going on. Each kid is different – and she got me off on the right path two times in a row. God love her. That is my advice to you. Get to know the nearest LC, and if you don’t like the first one you talk to – get another. In my opinion, it’s the most important relationship you need to have the first couple months.

Now, was that enough fluff for you? Please allow me to take you where you didn’t think I would…

I hate being associated with breastfeeding. Okay, I don’t really hate it – but it makes me uncomfortable. This blog is different, because it’s documenting my life with my little’s – but I go out of my way to not tell other mom’s that I’m breastfeeding. I roll my eyes at the mom on TIME magazine who is stoically “nursing” her four year old. I get angry at the mom who calls herself Breastfeeding Badass. I even have problems with the Breast is Best campaign slogan.

Because, you know what. Maybe sometimes it’s not best.

We get it, already. If you’re a mom, you get it. Breastfeeding is best. Breastmilk is best. It is the superior nutrition. It is superior bonding. We get it. You can’t leave the hospital without hearing it. You can’t take a childbirth class without hearing it. You can’t read a baby book without reading it. You can’t pick up a can of formula without it in plain letters on the front. And I’m not disputing the fact that it is wonderful nutrition, nor am I disputing the fact that every mother should at least give it a try – but the problem with it is, now we have a whole slew of moms out there who feel completely inferior because of the way they feed their babies. These are perfectly wonderful moms, who love their babies, and who for one reason or another chose for themselves and their babies… that the breast was not the best. And because now they aren’t giving the best… they’re less than.

You’ve got moms who try really, really, really hard – and their babies try really, really, really hard. And it just doesn’t work. You’ve got moms who decide that the effort is taking away from actual quality time they could be spending with their babies – or the rest of their family. You’ve got moms who get mastitis, and clogged ducts, and raw nipples… and it freaking HURTS… and it’s just not gonna work. You’ve got moms who love their little tiny packages of delight so much that they say… if I can’t give you what you need, I will find something that will. And do you know how hard it is to be a mom and not be able to give your baby everything they need, to admit defeat on something that is supposed to be biologically natural? We’re gonna tell these moms that they aren’t giving their best?! Nope. No sir. Not me. Who am I to say what should go in your baby’s belly (besides like crack or something – don’t give them crack).

These days, this breastfeeding campaign has transformed itself even further.  It’s not just breastmilk that’s good enough. It has to come straight from the tap or you look less than. Forget the mom who arranges her life around a breastpump that ensures she feels like a cow, just to make sure her baby gets what it needs one way or another. I’ve been on the playground with a bottle, I know. My bottle is filled with the gold goodness, and I still feel the scorn. Artificial nipples. I’m not one to nurse in public – I’d rather use a public bathroom – and that seems less than. If you don’t flaunt it, like the celebrity selfies of the world, you’re not really doing it right, I guess. Let me tell you something – Quinn could care less that she’s eating on a toilet as long as she’s eating. And I’m much more comfortable in there than I would be in a restaurant booth with a blanket over us – or Heavn forbid, without a blanket over us. If you aren’t still breastfeeding when you’re kid is three – it’s less than. After all, they should self wean. Let me tell you, I cut the cord with Leah at a year and she shows no signs of major trauma. And I will more than likely do the same with Quinn – she has bitten the nipple that feeds her one too many times. There are just so many rules – how is a mom supposed to keep up!

Basically, I would like them to change the slogan. Something like, “the breast is really, really good, and you should try it because you can lose a lot of weight that way, but if it doesn’t work for you or your baby just know that you’re still a really, really good mom. And you’re making great choices.” That’s catchy, right? Can we all get shirts with that on it, please? I hate that there are moms out there that inevitably feel remorse for not doing what everyone tells them is natural. And right. And breast best. I’m not a fan of the moms who use social media to make sure that everyone they know knows that their baby is breastfed, essentially rubbing it in the faces of those who don’t. I wish people could just feed their babies. Plain and simple. Just feed them and love them and go about your day.

I mean, if nursing Quinn really gave her everything she needed, would she still eat dog food…


Eh. Probably.


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