Friday Funnies 1.0

After having stepped in a puddle of water on the floor, I hastily walk outside towards Leah.

Me: Leah, did you spill your water?!

Leah: Ya.

Me: Well. When you spill something, you have to clean it up.

Leah: Okay, I’ll do it Saturday.

Um. No. You’ll do it on Tuesday, the day you spilled it. Thanks.


Quinn had just crawled underneath Leah’s legs and somehow tripped and face planted. And was screaming.

Leah: What happened to Quinnie, mommy?

Me: She… (got cut off)

Leah: I bwoke her head. I just did it on purpose.

Me: What? No. You didn’t break her head. She just tripped.

Leah: I just did. I just bwoke her head.

Me: ………….

What should the punishment be for breaking your sister’s head?


Leah: Mommy!! This is my BIBLE. It’s FROM JESUS! (In a very excited, loud whisper).


Leah: Daddy, I had green noodles!

Kyle: You did?! Where did you get green noodles?

Leah: Mutters something not in any language we’d heard before.

Kyle: Must’ve been a French restaurant.


Me: Leah, what do you want for lunch?

Leah: A ham sandwich.

Me: Okay.

Leah: But don’t get any bwead on it!

Me: A ham sandwich with no bread?

Leah: Ya, that’s my favorite.

So, ham on a plate. Got it.


Kyle and I discussing Leah’s crying before bed again

Me: What is her DEAL?!

Kyle: I dunno, maybe she’s not 100% yet.

Me: 100% from what? She hasn’t been sick.

Kyle: Well, maybe she’s just bein a big baby then.

That is the correct answer.


Leah playing with my mom on the floor.

Leah: Let’s make your hair all swappy, swappy, Nonni!

My mom: Slappy, slappy?

Leah: Ya!

Who doesn’t want slappy, slappy hair?!


Leah: I’m going in the basement to play with daddy, mommy! I’ll see ya next year!

If only.



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