Friday Funnies 2.0

I chose to make Kyle wake up with Leah and me sleep in for the first time… maybe ever. I come out to find them on the couch.

Me: Did she eat breakfast?

Kyle: She had fruit snacks, a graham cracker, and one grape.

Me: Staring blankly, and then… Fruit snacks?!

Kyle: Ya? I didn’t know.

Me: You didn’t assume she doesn’t have fruit snacks at 7am?

Kyle: No, you were sleeping. She looked like she needed them. She said she did.

Me: Omg.

This is why I don’t sleep in.

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Me: Leah, your hair is beautiful!

Leah: Thanks, mommy!

I smile politely.

Leah: Whispers… Say you’re welcome, mommy.

Sometimes I wonder why we teach her to be so polite. It only comes back to bite me.

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I send Kyle down to our gift bag stash to find one for his grandma’s 80th birthday. I describe exactly where it is and what it looks like. He comes up with this:

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Me: No. No. That’s not it.

Kyle: Why not? It’s a bag.

Me: Kyle, does that look like a bag fit for your grandma?

Kyle: Sure, she likes stripes.

You guys. The one I described was white, with pastel colored birds and ribbon for handles.

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My sister and I planning our menu for tomorrow’s get together.

Lauren: Do you want alcohol?

Me: Nah.

Lauren: Boring.

Me: Ha. Do you need me to drink with you?

Lauren: No – I drink by myself, I don’t care.

She is a wonderful mother to three darling girls, let no one forget.

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Me once again huffing and puffing because of a stressful day.

Kyle: Do you need to take a shower and read your Bible?

The solution to all of life’s problems.

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I’ve started seeing a chiropractor for this:

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Voice texting helped this conversation that transpired after an appointment:

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Thank God for technology, no?

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And I don’t know if this one is funny or just sweet, but…

Kyle: Sleeping Beauty comes out October 7th, do we have that one?

Made me smile real big. There was a time Sleeping Beauty coming to DVD wouldn’t have been within 1000 miles of his upcoming-DVD-release-date radar…

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