Friday Funnies: Bread Maker Edition.

Oh, man.

So I got this bread maker. And I am SO excited to use it. But today was ‘read through the manual so you don’t break it’ day. And maybe it was my jovial mood over the thing, or maybe it really was as ridiculous as it all sounded. But I got a weeks worth of funnies from reading a few pages. So please enjoy this special edition of funnies. (With a bonus from my mom at the end)!

Page 1, article 1.

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Wait. So if the plug can’t reach an outlet that’s a problem? And I can’t plug it in until I’m shown later when to do this?? Well, that just makes me wanna plug it in and break the rules! But I won’t. Because they’ve haven’t told me I’m allowed yet. I don’t want to break it.

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So when I double check my wet ingredients that are sitting level on the counter, should I look once, walk to the fridge and come back and look again? Or. Look, then turn my head and look back quickly?

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So the “French” setting is for French bread, the “Sweet” setting is for bread with high amounts of sugar, and the “Quick” setting is for baking bread quickly. Got it.

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These bread baking authors are saving lives, one example at a time. I thought the time in between 8am and 6pm was only 4 hours.

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We’ve already said this, buttttt we’re gonna say it again.

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Just don’t give up. That kind of makes me think this bread baking business is more than I signed up for.

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I’ll need to hire a babysitter to watch all the kids while I watch my bread being made through the viewing window! I especially want to see the dough come to the last period of rise at hour 1:50. My legs might be tired from standing for an hour and 50 minutes watching it through the window, but I will be having so much fun I won’t care!

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I don’t know. I was cracking up reading that darn manual. I can just imagine a group of older bread making ladies sitting around writing this thing saying things like, “remember to tell them how important it is to use exact measurements!” “Make sure they know to put it next to an outlet!” And “someone tell them it won’t be easy, but DON’T GIVE UP!”

Don’t worry ladies. I won’t. I will take this VERY seriously. I haven’t even plugged it in yet, because I can’t find the page where it tells me to do so…

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And the bonus from my mom…

Mom: Do you have a picture of me without a red nose? (Referring to our Christmas La Nova picture).

Me: Ha. I don’t think so? We took them all in a row.

Mom: Great. I need to stop drinking.

It’s true. She hits the bottle hard.

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