Monthly Archives: October 2014

Friday Funnies 3.0

Leah: Look, Mommy! I’m swinging and Quinnie’s swinging and no one’s fweakin out!

You guys. I love the days when no one freaks out.


My sister: You know that cherry pie filling I have in my pantry?

Yes! I often think of the cherry pie filling in your pantry.

(Actually, it turns out, I had no idea what she was talking about. Guess I should pay more attention when she tells me about the contents of her pantry).


Leah: Can I have some orange juice?

Me: No, you had orange juice with your breakfast. We can have water now.

Leah: But I really want orange juice.

Me: I know, but you already had it today. You can have water.

Leah: Mommy, orange juice is kinda like water.

I looked it up to be sure, but turns out it actually isn’t anything like water.

No one can match the cleverness of my 3 year old.


Talking to my mom on the phone.

My mom: What are you doing?

Me: Driving to Kohls, I’ve gotta return something.

My mom: I know! You sound horrible!

Me: Wait, what. What? No. Mom. I said I’m going to Kohls.

My mom: Oh! I thought you said you had a bad cold.

Me: No, I’m fine. But thanks for saying I sound horrible…

The elderly are just too much to handle sometimes.


Random dad in Target.

Random dad: Okay, Lilly, now we get to get the fun stuff!

Lilly: Like what, daddy?!

Random dad: Detergent and razors.

If I know anything about kids, it’s that nothing gets them more excited than detergent and razors.


Leah: Daddy, who had a dream?

Kyle: Martin Luther King?

Leah: Rapunzel! Rapunzel had a dream!

So close, Kyle.


Leah: Mommy, wanna make some lemonade? (Pretend, in her pretend kitchen).

Me: Sure, we can do that.

Leah: Okay, you just do it by yourself.



Leah gets her jammies on and runs into the bathroom to show her dad. I hear from the other room…

Kyle: Laughter. Man, those just get better every time I see them.


It’s true. They really do.

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Friday Funnies 2.0

I chose to make Kyle wake up with Leah and me sleep in for the first time… maybe ever. I come out to find them on the couch.

Me: Did she eat breakfast?

Kyle: She had fruit snacks, a graham cracker, and one grape.

Me: Staring blankly, and then… Fruit snacks?!

Kyle: Ya? I didn’t know.

Me: You didn’t assume she doesn’t have fruit snacks at 7am?

Kyle: No, you were sleeping. She looked like she needed them. She said she did.

Me: Omg.

This is why I don’t sleep in.


Me: Leah, your hair is beautiful!

Leah: Thanks, mommy!

I smile politely.

Leah: Whispers… Say you’re welcome, mommy.

Sometimes I wonder why we teach her to be so polite. It only comes back to bite me.


I send Kyle down to our gift bag stash to find one for his grandma’s 80th birthday. I describe exactly where it is and what it looks like. He comes up with this:


Me: No. No. That’s not it.

Kyle: Why not? It’s a bag.

Me: Kyle, does that look like a bag fit for your grandma?

Kyle: Sure, she likes stripes.

You guys. The one I described was white, with pastel colored birds and ribbon for handles.


My sister and I planning our menu for tomorrow’s get together.

Lauren: Do you want alcohol?

Me: Nah.

Lauren: Boring.

Me: Ha. Do you need me to drink with you?

Lauren: No – I drink by myself, I don’t care.

She is a wonderful mother to three darling girls, let no one forget.


Me once again huffing and puffing because of a stressful day.

Kyle: Do you need to take a shower and read your Bible?

The solution to all of life’s problems.


I’ve started seeing a chiropractor for this:


Voice texting helped this conversation that transpired after an appointment:


Thank God for technology, no?


And I don’t know if this one is funny or just sweet, but…

Kyle: Sleeping Beauty comes out October 7th, do we have that one?

Made me smile real big. There was a time Sleeping Beauty coming to DVD wouldn’t have been within 1000 miles of his upcoming-DVD-release-date radar…

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1) My Quinn is gonna be 1 soon. Like, weeks. Like, just a couple weeks. She is going to be ONE. I’m not gonna drag you down that emotional road again, but she is the 1 of 1-2-3.

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This is mainly what I deal with from her on a day-to-day basis. She’s a ham, and she knows that this face gets a laugh out of just about anyone. So she makes it, a lot. She is learning SO much these days about just how to be a person, and it truly is a joy to watch. She is pointing and waving and babbling, and just a good time. She is sometimes standing, and will probably never walk. Ha. Okay, so maybe she will. But not anytime soon. Why would she need to, though, big sister gets her anything she could ever need.

Last week she was my least favorite baby. She decided she needed no sleep, and was just all out of sorts. I just about lost my mind. There was one diamond in the rough, though. She woke up at 3:15am for the first time in months, and I just didn’t know what to do for her. I nursed her, because that seemed easiest. Soon enough she calmed down enough to let me rock her to sleep! That also hasn’t happened in months! It’s funny, you spend the better part of the first few months hating waking up all night, and then one day it’s gone and for some reason you miss it. Even that night when she woke up, I looked at my phone and saw 3:15 and said, “WTH, Quinn!” But I forgave her as she cuddled up on my chest – because that’s the sweet stuff of mothering. And sometimes it seems like it’s there forever, but it’s not. And I counted myself grateful in that moment to get a random dose of it. So, thanks, little girl.

But normally, Quinn is the ideal baby. Sleeping and eating and playing and smiling like a wonderful little baby. She is happy to go with the flow around here. She is trying her best to kill herself by eating everything she finds, but I am trying my hardest to keep her alive – and so far I’m winning! She has quite a personality, silly and sassy. She has a temper like her mama – fast and furious. She loves to give his Duncan bones, and his toys. She loves to climb the steps. She is getting increasingly irritated in the car – but in just a couple more weeks – she will be forward facing and her life (and ours) will be SO much better. She loves to be outside, and to take walks.

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She loves to play with Leah, even if she always has to be the passenger in their airplane. Such is the life of the little sister.

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She has sippy and straw cups, but she would much prefer to drink like her brother does.

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We froze her to death at the pumpkin patch this past weekend, but because she’s Quinn, she put up with us. I still can’t believe she will be one, but I have learned to accept it. I’m very excited to celebrate a wonderful year with a wonderful little girl.

2) My Duncan is two now. Well, he’s been two. But he is the 2 of my 1-2-3, so just go with it.

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He is a really, really good boy. A little high maintenance with his allergy shots and eye tumors, but a good boy nonetheless. He puts up with more than he should.


Like getting kicked out of eating breakfast so his little sister can feed him herself.

Duncan will go to his third week of school tonight, and he is absolutely excelling! His teacher is great, and we have put in a lot of time working on homework. It was supposed to be a class with other dogs, but the first week ended up being just us, and she decided to keep it that way. She said Duncan is ahead of the skill level of the beginner class, but definitely has some excitability issues, so she wanted to focus mainly on that. And it is working! He is learning that he gets petted by visitors when he is a good boy and calm in his bed. He hasn’t peed on his papa in two weeks, probably his biggest accomplishment. He stays when he’s told to stay, no matter how hard it may be for him.

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He’s not perfect, sometimes we have to say stay 8,000 times, but for only having two classes out of six under his belt – I am a very proud of my boy! We are seeing much progress.


Leah might be his best teacher. She’s got a pretty no nonsense attitude with him, and he listens. She loves to train him, too, which works for me.

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When he’s done with his homework, he gets to color. 🙂

Or take a walk with his littlest sister.

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I don’t know, do you know another dog that can be walked by a one year old?

He makes me proud.

3) My buggie is 3. The biggest of the three. Or, at least the oldest. She hasn’t quite reached 90lbs like her brother.

Leah had a very big weekend.

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She turned 15 years older.

I’ve been wanting to get her hair cut for a while now, and she has, too. It was at a very awkward length, where everything was a different length. And the bedhead. You don’t need a reminder of that. So I bit the bullet and made the appointment. If only I knew how CUTE it was going to be, I would’ve done it a year ago! I just kind of can’t get over it.

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I mean RIGHT?! Eeeek. My three year old is now 18.

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As if she needed more, this haircut has given her an extra helping of sass! She just wants to actually be 18, Lord help me. The fact that she must buckle her car seat straps now might actually be the death of me. It takes for.freaking.ever. to get everything snapped. I’m not even allowed to look at her as she’s doing it, let alone offer to help. She is quite proud of herself when it’s done, but getting there is absolutely painful for me. My only hope is that all the practice will speed up the process in the weeks to come. She is a writing fool; constantly asks me how to write ____________. It’s a fun thing to work on her with, though, and it’s so fun to see the finished project. She loves to learn – I feel like sometimes I’m running out of things to teach her. She is such a sponge, and wants to know everything about everything. It’s exhausting, but I suppose it’s a good thing.

She’s just having quite the time, these days. Going to school, writing, getting haircuts, dreaming of meeting Cinderella at Disney World, training her dog, screaming NO at her dad and I with way too much attitude for a 3 year old. I mean, she can really fill a day. But I love her. And her spunk and her sass and her curiosity. She keeps me tickin’.

Well, they all do.

It’s a good group I have around here.


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Friday Funnies 1.0

After having stepped in a puddle of water on the floor, I hastily walk outside towards Leah.

Me: Leah, did you spill your water?!

Leah: Ya.

Me: Well. When you spill something, you have to clean it up.

Leah: Okay, I’ll do it Saturday.

Um. No. You’ll do it on Tuesday, the day you spilled it. Thanks.


Quinn had just crawled underneath Leah’s legs and somehow tripped and face planted. And was screaming.

Leah: What happened to Quinnie, mommy?

Me: She… (got cut off)

Leah: I bwoke her head. I just did it on purpose.

Me: What? No. You didn’t break her head. She just tripped.

Leah: I just did. I just bwoke her head.

Me: ………….

What should the punishment be for breaking your sister’s head?


Leah: Mommy!! This is my BIBLE. It’s FROM JESUS! (In a very excited, loud whisper).


Leah: Daddy, I had green noodles!

Kyle: You did?! Where did you get green noodles?

Leah: Mutters something not in any language we’d heard before.

Kyle: Must’ve been a French restaurant.


Me: Leah, what do you want for lunch?

Leah: A ham sandwich.

Me: Okay.

Leah: But don’t get any bwead on it!

Me: A ham sandwich with no bread?

Leah: Ya, that’s my favorite.

So, ham on a plate. Got it.


Kyle and I discussing Leah’s crying before bed again

Me: What is her DEAL?!

Kyle: I dunno, maybe she’s not 100% yet.

Me: 100% from what? She hasn’t been sick.

Kyle: Well, maybe she’s just bein a big baby then.

That is the correct answer.


Leah playing with my mom on the floor.

Leah: Let’s make your hair all swappy, swappy, Nonni!

My mom: Slappy, slappy?

Leah: Ya!

Who doesn’t want slappy, slappy hair?!


Leah: I’m going in the basement to play with daddy, mommy! I’ll see ya next year!

If only.


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